SUNDAY, MARCH 14, 2010

Parents

I do have several impressive moments with my parents but the most unforgettable moment for me is the one that changed me as a person.

This incident was during 2004-05 and in those times, I used to work in my hometown & stayed with my parents. I was married with two kids then. I used to be very ill-tempered and get irritated at the slightest of provocation. It so happened that my mother and me had a intense argument for some bizarre reason. I was so much annoyed that I stopped talking to her for two months. Even though after a day or two I felt bad about the incident but my ego held over me. I tried to speak to her few times but my ego stopped me doing so. The house was tensed and I used to keep grumbling to my sister who stayed with her family in another town. Then one day my sister came down to mediate between both of us. She called all of us to one room and asked us to talk our part. Since I knew I was wrong I let mom start the conversation. My mom was very upset with me and started complaining about me to my sister. She kept talking and I went back my memory lane to realize how my mom grew us up against all odds, her sacrifice, her love and affection for me. During that time, I could never think of a moment when she has abused me or scolded me. All I could remember how she cooked food for us after a hard day’s work; how she’d cook lovely snacks for us. How she would prepare us for exams and so on.

Suddenly I screamed, mom please stop now. You don’t have to explain yourself any more. I am your son & I am admitting my mistakes and swear after today you will see a new me. I will never give you a chance to complain about me anymore.

I kept my words; after that incident I was the most endearing son of my mom and never gave her a chance to complain about me. This incident also marked the beginning a new chapter in my life. All those tempers vanished thin into the air. I changed as a person; as a human; as a parent and as a friend too.

25th April 2010

Talking about parents, I started understaing my parents better when I became one. I started understanding the pains they had taken to grow us up. I did understand a lot of mistakes that I did as a Child. Now I know, I can't go back and amend them; but all I can do is give them a better son now when they need it. My request to all is please don't hurt your parents, coz if you did, one day your kids could hurt you too. "Life is like a mirror." What you give comes back to you.

Random Thoughts

1-Aug-2014

Turn on any channels on weekdays at any time, you will see the same heavily jewellery clad women, with heavy makeup even while coming out of washrooms. Turn on any channel, you will see those conspiracy, rape, killings as if there is no law in land.

At 10.30 on weekdays, came a very invigorating change in the name of Yudh. A very delectably new programme starring Amitabh Bachchan has made a name in just the first few episodes. Amitabh Bachchan at his customary very best can make you emotional in the emotional scenes, can you make you cry at his vulnerability. TV viewing has never been same since then.

12-Jun-2014

Being a Safety SPOC for my Circle, my responsibility is manifold. Role varies from Safe Driving, Safe working environment, Safe living, following safety rules while working in high altitude area like towers, billboards etc.

I found the most dangerous among these is talking in cell phone while driving. I have made it a practice not to use my handset while driving. I always park my Car aside and talk if it is a very urgent call and need my instant attention. Sadly I have found, these days, almost 75% of people enjoy talking while driving. The mass constitutes people from all age group. While I don't expect much from the older people, but at least the new generation should avoid talking while driving. We don’t understand the repercussions but this action might put someone’s life in danger. Please don’t use your cell phone while driving.

13th Jan 2014

Two days before the accident

It was 10:05pm of 16^th May, when he got down from the car. My eyes were on his feet, whether if he is limping. I could sense, he was either hiding the pains, or was too nervous. Quite a few hospital staffs were waiting to take him inside. I walked up to him, hold his hand bring him inside the hospital. While holding his hand, I could feel he was very nervous but he was hiding everything, the pains, the nervousness. Outside he was looking very confident.

When we went inside the Casualty of Ayush Hospital, they checked his feet and went inside the chamber and started discuss. Entire family & relatives were around him and he was feeling as if he has done some kind of achievement. While the time passed, he became nervous and started asking, “Papa, they won’t operate me, right”. I kept telling him that no operation is needed.

At around 10:30pm, Dr Swain, the neurosurgeon reached, checked him and confirmed that there is a blood clot in his brain but there is nothing to worry about. Operation isn’t needed and he will be cured in medicines only. They would keep him under observation for two days.

He was shifted to ICU immediately. By next day, half of the hospital knew him. He kept asking few questions in several different ways to various hospital staffs basically to understand whether he is being operated or not. He used to check all his hospital papers himself, would read them carefully before they were passed on to us, would ask questions wherever he had any doubt. He kept asking about other patients besides his bed and their medical conditions.  When I went to see him, around Noon next day, he asked me, “Papa, what is partial hanging?”. I was shocked and asked him why.

He told me that the lady besides his bed has a case of Partial hanging. I explained him that this lady perhaps attempted suicide and failed. On 18^th morning around 9:30am, doctor told us that he will be operated and surgery needs to be done immediately as the Clot keeps growing in size. The panic showed in the face of entire family. Suddenly I was told that he wants to see me. I went to ICU. He asked me to hold his hand. The question next moment brought out tears from my eyes. He asked, “Papa, are they going to operate me?”. I said, “no, I won’t allow then to operate you at any cost.” He was satisfied with my response.

After around two hours, he was taken to Operation Theater. On the door of the OT he stopped the attendants and wanted to see me again. His question again was the same. I denied that he won’t be operated and he will only have a Scan. After an hour, he was out of OT. While coming out, he was very depressed and told me, “Papa, they operated me”. I couldn’t suppress my tears anymore.

Two days before the accident

Days passed and he showed enormous strength to get out of the pains. He had few post surgery complications like urine infection, blood infection, typhoid etc and had to be brought back to hospital again & again for next few weeks.

I can’t write all that he has done during those days to become what he is today.

All I want to say is he is truly, my son, my hero, my 13 year old Harsh.

9th Jan 2014.

There is a differnce between "Can not" and "Do Not". Can not shows your fears whereas Do Not shows your intention to be in peace because you don't want to do certain things that might shake off your inner peace.

Doormat is a word normally used for people who are ill-treated and never able to retaliate. But then we should never forget that Doormat Can not retaliate. And someone who do not retaliate doesn't mean that he can not retaliate. It might be just that they value their peace more than arguements. It also might be because they have always been insecure, introvert and sometimes failures in their life.

When you are born to a family where everyone else is successful, well settled and you are still rooting for your wings, it is quite natural that you will be insecure. When you have to depend on others for your livings, it is very natural that you will be insecure. Your priority always would be to settle down, not to fight over stuffs.